You’ve been invited to your church’s Martin Luther King, Jr. Day picnic. You cannot wait to see all your favorite Ungratefuls, but, oh no! What should you bring for the potluck? Any of the grubs below are sure to please even the (cotton-)pickiest nibbers on the block.
Bubba Blue(gums) knows what he done talkin’ ’bout
More commonly known as “shrimp” to the melanin-challenged, scrimps can be prepared in so many ways, it’d take a true nibber to really mess them up.
2. Collard Greens
Boil ’em, stew ’em, fry ’em up with pig lard
When Mammy spent her whole day pickin’ these from the field, you have to eat your veggies.
How do you know Adam and Eve weren’t black?
These finger-lickin’ meat treats are mandated at any Ungrateful social gathering. Jerk spices and a molasses-based BBQ sauce are highly recommended.
‘Chitterlings’ has too many syllables
To be quite frank, I am not even sure what goes into chitlins, but I’m 99% sure it’s gross and would turn my stomach. One thing that’s undeniable, however, is that negroes love this nasty dish.
5. Popeye’s Fried Chicken
While any fried chicken would likely do, pick up this brand to ensure proper signalling. The spokeswoman is a negress, as are all the workers at this joint. Gibs back to the community with this treat.
6. Pork Rinds
For your gluten-free nibbas
This is like pig skin or spare parts or something that are then fried to an airy crisp. It’s suggested to bring one bag for each partygoer, as they become glued to a groid’s hands once opened, and only detach when emptied.
7. Pickled Pigs Feet
Another inexplicably disgusting foodstuff treasured by kangzfolk, pickled pigs feet are available at most local grocers who accept EBT.
8. Sweet Potato Pie
Prelude to Type II diabetes
If you’ve already decided on a main course item to feed the Ungratefuls, consider this perennial dessert as your second offering. And don’t forget the Cool Whip!
Tell them the seeds replenish melanin and you might not have to wade through a pile of them
THE classic black dessert, watermelon is sugary, relatively inexpensive, and is easily shared/stolen. While this choice may not be available above the Mason-Dixon Line during MLK’s winter holiday, any Southern gathering would be incomplete without the refreshing crunch of the watermelon.