9 Things (And People(?)) the Alt Right Bid Good Riddance to in 2017

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Is this loss? Not so much.

As 2017 wraps up, let’s remember what dreck we leave behind as we venture into the New Current Year.

9. Laura Loomer’s Nose (And Tires!)

 

 

 

 

Pre- and Post-Schnozz Op

While we here at BuzzFash have no idea how she made the time for it – between thirstily blackmailing men to dive her muff, begging for tire shekels, and doxing Alt-Right personalities’ sister’s husband’s gardener’s adoptive uncles – but Ole Loomer the Joomer managed a trip to Dr. Beakmanbergblattstein to have that ugly reminder that ‘physiognomy is real’ removed from her face.

Unfortunately for her, her face is still busted. At best, a 1.8/10. And most unfortunately for her, despite her efforts to the contrary, SHE’S STILL NOT LAUREN SOUTHERN.

8. Affordable Bitcoins

You should have bought in back when you could purchase a whole one. If you can purchase a whole one, remember that BuzzFash takes d’nations!

Tbh, fam, I never bought into the crypto-currency fad/emerging market/Ponzi scheme. And now I am kicking myself along with the rest of the no-coiners. This made our list because plenty of /ourpeople/ didn’t make /mymistake/, and are quite content to see BTC prices soar. Put these capital gains to good use, borthers!

Maybe 2018 will be the year to buy smaller-cap digicoins. Or maybe the whole zero-one-zero money system will implode. We will wait and see. But yeah, still kicking myself.

7. Heather Heyer

I feel most sympathy for these first responders, who no doubt suffered back injuries from big Heather’s little stunt.

She was fat. She smoked menthol cigarettes, and likely, a ham a day. She wedged herself into a crowd intent on violent action. She then suffered the consequences of this combination of choices on a hot, sweaty Charlottesville summer day.

Suffice it to say, I hope that the Dodge Charger that didn’t hit her had a “Karma Is Only a Bitch If You Are” bumper sticker on it.

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About the author: Having already served as the nineteenth President of the United Hates of Amerikkka, Rutherford spends most his time pursuing his true passions: hard-hitting journalism and cheeses. The more fragrant, the better. On both counts.