Wondering what to buy for your fashy comrade, Stormer-reading son, alpha husband, or another man who’s regularly accused of being one of those sinister Nazis? Shitlords are surprisingly easy to shop for, once you consider their main priorities: protection, family, the movement, and vengeance. Here are 31 ideas guaranteed to please.
Whether he’s an amateur sharpshooter or planning for Rahowa (why not both?), ammo is just like money: some is always better than none.
2. Portable Fire
Lighters, fire starters, flint, hell… even waterproof matches. A goy needs a little help to make the fire rise.
3. LifeStraw Personal Water Filter
Any man will be comforted knowing that water sourced in the field can immediately be made safe to drink: for himself or his kids.
4. Pocket Knife
Knives are cool. They cut things, and protect people. Consider having it personalized: Buzzfash suggests the number 1488.
5. Bear Mace
You know, just in case he comes across a bear. In town. Wearing skinny jeans and whining about gender assumption.
6. The Right Stuff Paywall Subscription
This goy probably has great taste and already listens to all the free content on The Right Stuff Radio. Sign him up for a $10/month or $120/year subscription to hear exclusive content and support the movement.
He’ll need quality headphones to listen to all those podcasts. Research comfy, high-quality Bluetooth ones.
8. Burner Phone
Whether he needs to make prank calls, arrange logistics for activism, or just needs a number to get back into his locked Twitter account, a burner is a must.
Have it engraved with the 14 words.
10. Reading tablet
He doesn’t have to worry about reading pro-White books in public on a personal tablet.
11. Portable Battery
This dude undoubtedly uses his smart phone often. Help him stay juiced.
12. Movement Merch
Support the people in the movement who are trying to be financially independent of ZOG. Get some Kampfy Socks, merch from Fash The Nation or Western Outlands, or enlist a local trad wife to make homemade soap, or to knit him something.
13. Fashy DVDs
A handful of ideas: Triumph Of The Will, Olympia, Fight Club, Falling Down.
14. Caffeinated Chocolate
Like coffee… but chocolate! Portable, delicious, and stimulating.
15. Framed Pics
He’d surely appreciate pics of both his biofam and his movement crew.
(Do us a favor and pretend these are framed)
It’s all the rage among shitlords to invest in some crypto cash. Purchase some on his behalf and put proof of it in his stocking.
Shades that protect his eyes while concealing his identity are a must.
18. Gym Membership
Bro should already be lifting, but if not, hook him up.
19. Keychain Utility Tool
True, he’ll probably never use half of the stuff on it, but the bottle opener will probably come in handy.
20. Tiny Umbrella
It’ll fit with any of his gear, and it’s cute as hell (no homo).
21. Work Gloves
He’s got shit to do outside.
Have YOU thought about what you’re going to eat when shit hits the fan?
23. Mini Emergency Radio
Hand cranking is a pain in the ass, but it’s vital to have a radio you can always use.
24. Tactical Flashlight
Is it a light source? Is it a weapon? It’s both!
25. RFID-Blocking Wallet
Keep e-thiefs and ZOG from stealing his info.
26. USB Car Charger
You provide the charger, he provides the cord, and he’ll be recharging while in his truck.
27. Hand Warmers
Shooting a gun or skinning a deer sucks with cold hands.
28. Whiskey Ice Cubes
If he’s particular about how he consumes his alcohol of choice – preferring it cold but not watered down – this is how to achieve it.
29. Tile (Tracking Device)
Put a Tile in a wallet or keychain and you can always locate it as long as you have your linked phone. It’s meant for the forgetful, but a shitlord could probably find another use or two for it.
30. DNA Ancestry Test
He has to have his papers proving he’s authentically White, and not (((white))).
31. Travel Coffee Mug
Most travel coffee mugs suck. Research the good ones that don’t spill and stay hot a long time. It’s a good investment for both a commuting shitlord and an outdoorsman.
If you’ve got other ideas or would like specific recommendations, we’d love to hear from you. Tweet at us: @Buzz88Fash