The 7 Most Common Black Twitter Responses (Guess Who Thinks They Created Civilization?)

humor, listicles

What blacks lack in IQ points, they make up for in reliably shitty behavior. If you’re ever misfortunate enough to get ensnared in some crude, poorly spelled repartee with a black on Twitter, you’re guaranteed to get one of the following replies at some point.

1. Muh Dick

When faced with irrefutable evidence that Whites are more capable, accomplished, attractive, smarter, or less violent, blacks – due to their general inability to acknowledge their own weaknesses as a race – reply with some version of a boast that their dicks are bigger. Really.

A black will argue that White evolution only resulted in small penises and sunburns, or that a better “equipped” fellow gorilla is at home with your wife, or he’ll simply declare that his dong is long.

Feel free to reply with a “muh dick” meme and proclaim, “YOU’RE A MEME, BOY.”

2. Beyonce Gifs

Beyonce is to Blacks what Taylor Swift is to us here at Buzzfash: the goddess that can do no wrong. Never mind that Beyonce has culturally appropriated White ideals, thus theoretically making her ineligible for her elevated status: getting plastic surgery to add Western features, modifying her natural rat’s nest into straight and blonde, and trying to ditch her blaccent (success: dubious).

Regardless, these untermenschen have thousands of Beyonce gifs to express themselves in any possible situation: angry, elated, disgusted, offended, thrilled… and they’ll drop them as a Twitter reply as it’s not only a more efficient way for them to communicate, but will also inexplicably result in hundreds of likes from fellow blacks.

3. We Wuz Kangz

Someone, somewhere (we’re looking at you, Schlomo) once told some blacks that they founded civilization and taught White people how to bathe, and from that, We Wuz Kangz was memed into reality.

It’s not only laughable, it’s also historically preposterous – but blacks cling to anything that allow them to feel any parity with Whites. Let’s say you point out that blacks wouldn’t be able to comparison shop for cheap cocoa butter because the phone/electricity/language/medium of exchange Whites invented wouldn’t exist – and they’ll say that blacks taught Whites how to wipe their asses or brag that some Negro invented the peanut.

4. We Built This Country

Blacks are under the impression that the slave trade was a) solely a White activity that took place between Africa and America, and b) the only reason America exists as we know it. They noisily proclaim that if it weren’t for black slave labor, America wouldn’t have any buildings, wealth, clothing, or “properly” seasoned food. They demand reparations from all White Americans, regardless of their country of origin or how long they’ve been here, because they prefer to beg for gibs from Whitey than to actually earn their keep after centuries here.

Look, you literal Dindu Nuffins: the White House wasn’t built of cotton. Nice try.

 

5. Kill Whitey

You knew it was coming: typical, empty nibba threats. “Kill Whitey” takes many forms, from the actual direct threat (“Imma kill yo pasty ass”) to White genocide (“Could y’all pale faces just hurry up and die already?”).

Naturally, you are unable to properly reply in kind, because you will be summarily suspended while they are free to chimp out at every opportunity. After all, it is impossible for blacks to be racist against Whites in the goy-averse Twitter-verse. Don’t worry about your personal safety though: blacks lack the agency to carry out premeditated crimes, as they are far more likely to just kill each other in blind rages. It’s a fact!

6. Pseudo Intellectual

To bolster black self-esteem and confidence so that they kill us less, self-hating Whites and Jews treat blacks like children. They praise their pets: “GOOD JOB!” and “YOU IS SMART, YOU IS IMPORTANT,” resulting in blacks thinking that Hidden Figures is a documentary.

As a result, those with the higher IQs or education among their race try to tweet full sentence replies with what they perceive as class. It’s awkward, like a dog walking on its hind legs, and if you continue this dialogue long enough, it’ll eventually devolve into “muh dick,” “we built this country,” or “we wuz kangz” (see above).

7. Taunting

If a black didn’t whip out muh dick or threaten your murder as a reply, he’ll resort to baboon-like howling. He’ll shriek “Aw hell naw!” or tag his friends to ask, “Bruh, u see dis? DID U C DIS?!”

Further, when confronted with a direct argument or concept they don’t understand, blacks often resort to name calling. Try to explain per capita to them, and you’re quickly labeled a Nazi. Point out black-on-black violence as being a bigger threat to their communities than White people, and they’ll mock you as a basement-dwelling virgin. Take a stand for simple White pride, and they’ll call you inbred hicks. It’s really all very predictable. Thankfully, at the end of the discussion, you’re still awesomely White. And they can’t boast the same.

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About the author: Jimmie is as jimmies rustled.