5 Christmas Traditions Culturally Appropriated from White People

humor, listicles

Gift giving

  • 1) Gift giving has always been a white Christmas tradition and it has been culturally appropriated by blacks. In their native habitats black people don’t give gifts…they steal them. Therefore black people should do what comes natural and break into each other’s houses at Christmastime. Oh wait they already do that.

Christmas trees

  • 2) Another tradition that has been stolen by blacks is Christmas trees. Everyone knows that black people are afraid to go into the woods. Why would they bring the woods into their own homes? This is a senseless appropriation of whiteness. They should stop doing this.

Christmas lights

  • 3) Laughable on the face of it, putting up Christmas lights is a tradition that doesn’t fit with black people. Everyone knows that given the choice between paying their electric bill and buying new rims for their Escalade or purchasing a new Sail Foam, blacks will choose the latter every time.

Stockings

  • 4) Come on now!!! Who ever saw a negro wearing a sock without a NIKE or ADIDAS logo or some other outward signal of name brand recognition? A generic red sock? Only wypepo would ever do that.

White Christmas

  • 5) Perhaps the most preposterous of all. Singing “White Christmas”, or any Christmas carol really, just doesn’t fit with black people. Why would black people sing about white people things? Why wouldn’t they just rap about the new Jordans they stole when they were engaging in one of their own legitimate Christmas traditions like breaking and entering?

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