There are too many cryptocurrencies out there to count, which is why most “experts” stop at about 25. Many of these are just dodgy derivatives, like blue-sky swampland investments no one has a map for.
Your best bet is to put half your money in a couple of widows-and-orphans cryptos, and the rest in something riskier. Here are the ones I like, in order of Ascending Risk:
- Tether. This looks safe to begin with, because it has a name that actually means something. You are tethered to something real, like the American Dollar. Like checks on a kite. Like a man on the moon.
- Monero. I know this is good, because it’s the most private crypto around. Someone may subpoena your bank and Bitcoin records, but they’ll never find your Monero!
- Bitcoin Cash. Obviously a fork or derivative of Bitcoin. This is good when you want to swap cryptos and then cash out, and not wait five days for the transaction to clear.
- Ethereum Classic. I don’t know what this is, really, except they say it’s the older, idealized notion of Ethereum. Probably it should be at the top of the list, but as I say, I don’t know anything about it.
- Litecoin. Whither goeth Bitcoin, there goeth also Litecoin. It’s a younger, funner investment, and does things like appreciate 400% in one month. Even though I’m calling it number 5, you could probably put all your money in it and not lose your shirt.
For more investment advice, write Captain Hubbard c/o [email protected].