5 Crypto-Currencies That Will Save the White Race

investments, listicles

There are too many cryptocurrencies out there to count, which is why most “experts” stop at about 25. Many of these are just dodgy derivatives, like blue-sky swampland investments no one has a map for.

Your best bet is to put half your money in a couple of widows-and-orphans cryptos, and the rest in something riskier. Here are the ones I like, in order of Ascending Risk:

  1. Tether. This looks safe to begin with, because it has a name that actually means something. You are tethered to something real, like the American Dollar. Like checks on a kite. Like a man on the moon.
  2. Monero. I know this is good, because it’s the most private crypto around. Someone may subpoena your bank and Bitcoin records, but they’ll never find your Monero!
  3. Bitcoin Cash. Obviously a fork or derivative of Bitcoin. This is good when you want to swap cryptos and then cash out, and not wait five days for the transaction to clear.
  4. Ethereum Classic. I don’t know what this is, really, except they say it’s the older, idealized notion of Ethereum. Probably it should be at the top of the list, but as I say, I don’t know anything about it.
  5. Litecoin. Whither goeth Bitcoin, there goeth also Litecoin. It’s a younger, funner investment, and does things like appreciate 400% in one month. Even though I’m calling it number 5, you could probably put all your money in it and not lose your shirt.

For more investment advice, write Captain Hubbard c/o [email protected].

Facebook Comments

About the author: Captain Hubbard can usually be found at Saint Hill, Ron’s Home, East Grinstead, Sussex, when he’s not sailing his 80′ catamaran, the Enola Gay, through the South Seas.