5 Times the Fantasy Universe Introduced Gun Control (Which Worked Out Great)

humor, listicles

1. Harry Potter – Hogwarts

Under the sagacious leadership of Dolores Umbridge, the Ministry of Magic made the decision to forego “martial magic” in favor of the much more civilized and effective theoretical magic.

Further, her astute recognition of the particular evils of High Capacity Phoenix Feather Cores made the ministry take bold steps towards banning all wands carrying such components.  After all, killing curses are illegal, so why would anyone want such high-powered assault wands?

Voldemort subsequently taking over the entirety of the ministry using such a wand just proves this point.

Stunning. Brave. Visionary.

2. Lord of the Rings – Rohan, under the rule of Theoden

Under the council of Grima Wormtongue, the otherwise racist Théoden, son of Thengel, instituted an absolute ban of weapons in the Golden Hall of Edoras, making it a safe space for everyone inside.

For a time, this ban worked out really well for Rohan, as its borders were thrown wide open not only for the Dunlendings, who were racially similar to the Rohirrim, but also for the new and diverse Uruk Hai. Rohan seemed well on the way towards becoming a multiracial utopia under the stern but fair oversight of Sauron (PBUH), but alas, all it took was one White Shitlord named Gandalf breaking all the rules of the land by violating the weapons ban, and BAM!

White Supremacy.

3. Hunger Games – Panem

After a series of immensely destructive wars on the American continent, the diverse elites of Capitol City in their infinite wisdom decided to institute a complete weapons ban for citizens throughout the country, opting instead for an annual Hunger Games to be held as part punishment, part outlet for violent tendencies for the plebian class. This system successfully maintains the peace for 74 consecutive years, with only minor peacekeeping missions taking place in the poorer districts of the country, until a certain Katniss Everdeen shows up and decides to rock the boat. Once the resistance is fully armed, shit truly hits the fan, and the country is torn asunder.

Great going, idiot!

4. Wheel of Time – Age of Legends

During this age, all weapons were strictly prohibited for everyone except the elite guardians known as Aes Sedai (who at this time had achieved true gender equality).

Due to a sudden inexplicable onset of male cishet patriarchy however, shitlords decided to go completely overboard and slaughter everyone they could get their hands on.  Some even went as far as using the One Power to destroy mountains and raise new ones, to drain oceans and flood dry land. Cities were wiped out and civilization completely collapsed during this time, only re-establishing itself after the last of the shitlords were dead. In one such instance,  ten thousand Aiel were slaughtered by an evil shitlord, even after trying to dissuade him from the use of weaponry by means of interpretive dance. This shows us that not only can weapons not be trusted, males cannot be trusted either.

Especially not this guy.

5. Warhammer 40,000 – All the other planets

Ever wondered what goes on in all the other planets in the WH40K universe that you haven’t heard of? That’s because in this savage fascist Nazi universe these peaceful, gender equal and diverse planets are doubtlessly so peaceful they hardly merit mention in the minds of the ‘literally Hitler’ authors who write about it.

It is definitely not because these planets have already been brutally exterminated and/or had their population turned into Mutants by Xenos. Definitely not.

Insufficient dakka is actually a good thing.

9 Sources More Reliable than the ADL

entertainment, humor, listicles

It is no secret that the ADL was formed to defend a Jew murderer who ended up getting some old-fashioned Anglo-Saxon justice. BuzzFash does not endorse, but we understand. In the Current Year, this J-Supremacist organisation is treated by the J-Supremacist media as a gospel source of information. Here are X sources that are in fact more reliable than the ADL when it comes to the truth.

1. Russian babushkas

 

They’re notorious for knowing everything about everybody.

[click to continue…]

18 Worst Types Of Instagram Thots

entertainment, fashion, humor, listicles

Instagram is an empty-skulled narcissistic thot’s preferred platform from which to seek global attention, from thirsty NEETs to horny Pajeets. Here are the 18 worst types of offenders.

1. MILF Thot

She’s given birth and feels an unquenchable thirst to prove she’s still hot. It’ll be super comfortable for her kids when their friends eventually discover her account.

2. Jailbait Thot

Who allows the posting of alluring teenager pics on the world’s most prominent imaging platform? Jews, probably.

3. Kardashian Thot

Lampposts would be too kind a fate for these incurable mudsharks.

4. Makeup Thot

This paint and spackle sorcery neither fools nor tempts us.

5. Older Celebrity Thot

We get it: you still look good. Consider fading away now, while you can do so gracefully.

6. Fitness Thot

A girl who can outlift you. What man doesn’t want that?

7. Muslim Thot

Isn’t this illegal in her medieval society, and punishable by a good stoning?

8. Mudshark Thot

She betrays her race, virtue signals about it, and disgraces her father – all in one picture.

9. Racially Ambiguous Thot

What IS she, other than an evil temptress?

10. Liberal Thot

Piercings, body hair, a penchant for pearl diving. No gracias!

11. Body Positivity Thot

She’s not thicc; she’s fat. She needs to stop seeking validation as well as stuffing her face.

12. Hebrew Thot

She’s Jewish, AND a woman!

13. Trad Thot

She tells you about her conservative values while publicly preening for orbiters.

14. Tattoo Thot

Nothing screams “awesome future mom” like a woman covered head-to-toe in tawdry ink.

15. Yoga Thot

“I’m not religious, but I am spiritual. Namaste, bitches!”

16. Drug Thot

Running from themselves, AND the law!

17. Nerd Thot

Successfully baiting men with the “girl next door” thing since the invention of vidya.

18. Black Thot

C’mon Shaniqua, not even the kangz are biting.

10 Shitholes Women’s Marchers Should Demonstrate In

listicles

Feminists screech about “wymyn’s problems”. Rape is a major problem for women, so here at BuzzFash, we think feminists should focus on what really matters. Let’s ask ourselves, which countries could do with a pussy hat march against rape? They’re all guaranteed great weather, that’s for sure.

Note: We’re judging shitholes here by rape incidents per 100,000.

10. Grenada

An island paradise? Not if you have lady parts, at the rape incidence rate of 30.6/100,000.

[click to continue…]

14 Most Repulsive Women’s March Signs

entertainment, humor, listicles, news, politics

It’s epic in its lack of self-awareness. It’s revolting, profane, and inane virtue-signaling at its worst. It’s the Women’s March. Here are some of the worst signs seen at it, but please, view at your own risk. We don’t know anyone who has gone blind from a blog post, but there’s a first time for everything.

Yes. Yes it is.

 

Making us think about this bag’s gash is the true punishment here.

 

Fact check: false.

 

Luckily for us, the gaping maw of the afterlife does want you back.

 

I understand nothing about this creature, or its sign.

 

This woman gives us actual erectile dysfunction.

 

That’s because Nazis aren’t masochists.

 

Try this bit in Saudi Arabia.  Better yet, migrate to Israel!

 

Trump isn’t qualified to be President, but you endorse a fictional wizard. Got it.

 

OK this may be from another march, and also photoshopped, but we buy it.

 

That’s a clever “pun-anny” you’ve got there.

 

Sorry bitch, science says babies are literally bigots.

 

Thou shalt not murder white babies.

-White Nationalism 14:88

 

Dear White Women: all the virtue signaling in the world will never save you from their non-white hatred. They’re not your allies or advocates. We are.

 

We want to hear from you! Send us an email at [email protected] or tweet at us @Buzz89Fash

The Ultimate BuzzFash Guide to Celebrating MLK Day

holiday, humor

 With Marvin Looter Kang’z name day upon us, BuzzFash could never leave its readers high-and-dry on how to celebrate this momentous day. See our guides below on how to celebrate MLK Day with style!

9 Dishes Guaranteed to Disappear at Your MLK Day Picnic

8 Drizzanks to Toast MLK With This Monday

7 Songs You Can’t Forget on Your MLK Day Playlist

9 Activities MLK Day Would Be Incomplete Without

Dolf and Benny

Comic

9 Activities MLK Day Would Be Incomplete Without

holiday, humor, listicles

 Celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is the most important thing any American can do, ever. The question then becomes, though, how do we authentically fete such a man? Look to our list below to get some ideas about how you can show your appreciation and gratitude for all the black community has taught us cave-dwelling, bath-denying savages.

 

[click to continue…]

7 Songs You Can’t Forget on Your MLK Day Playlist

holiday, humor, listicles

Folks of all colors and creeds want nothing more than to shuck and jive with authenticity on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. To this end, below are listed the tunes that must be played on this high holy day of ingratitude.

 

[click to continue…]

9 Dishes Guaranteed to Disappear at Your MLK Day Picnic

holiday, humor, listicles

You’ve been invited to your church’s Martin Luther King, Jr. Day picnic. You cannot wait to see all your favorite Ungratefuls, but, oh no! What should you bring for the potluck? Any of the grubs below are sure to please even the (cotton-)pickiest nibbers on the block.

 

[click to continue…]